Sunday, November 22, 2009

I din't die, I was just depressed...

I know I should have blogged, but I couldn't. I needed a break. I was hard enought to cope with my life, and it still is, but I missed this so much. I missed you all, and I'm so sorry I haven't read your blogs in a while.

I was just too depressed to be much online. I want to die. Sometimes I want to kill myself, but I won't do it, I cannot do it. I don't want to ruin the life of the rest of my family.
School is killing me too. It's way too much to do, and I'm stressed all the time. I even started crying just because it is raining, and I don't want to walk to school in the rain tomorrow. I'm so tired of all this.
I haven't even written down everything I've eaten for over a week. I will start again tomorrow, though.

I'm still 44 kg (97 lbs). I'm still fat and ugly. It's not too hard to keep my intake at about 500 calories right now. So even though I've been depressed lately, I haven't binged, and I haven't eaten awful lot of calories.

Stay strong <3

4 comments:

  1. Awe dear. Glad you're back. I've been thinking about you. As much as you think it..you aren't fat. YOu are beautiful. Stay strong and I hope you get feeling better. It started snowing tonight...the sky was beautiful but the weather was not. The cold always gets me down. Just keep pushing forward you'll be okay. And its smart of you not to kill yourself..you'd be missed by your family and there is a lot to live for. Chin up

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  2. Depression makes it impossible to blog sometimes; i totally understand that. Right now i'm feeling exactly the same way...except i've been eating... I'm just glad you're back on here. Stay strong, love. Things have to look up soon.

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  3. En norsking! Wow...
    Dumt at du er deppa, håper du føler deg bedre snart.

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  4. Do come back! WE all need our norwegian girl ;)

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