I haven't really wanted any food the last days. I've been hungry, but I haven't needed to "fight" against the urge to eat. Been at around 500 calories a day. I've even had my period this week, and I usually eat lots of food then. Well, I like this much better! I haven't been able to weight myself, though. The scale is in the other bathroom, and I want to weight myself naked in the morning before I eat anything, but it would only seem very suspicious if I did, because I have a small bathroom myself (without a scale)... Sounds weird, I know.
I keep track of everything I eat in excel, so now I can go back and see what I ate 20 weeks ago. Wow, some days have been really terrible, haha. I think it's a great way to control your intake, because you get so very attentive to what you eat, and I want my weeks to look good. You should try if you don't do something similar :)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Two great days
The two last days have been almost perfect when it comes to food! I've eaten less than 500 calories both days, and it makes me very happy. I feel like I have so much energy!
The weekend wasn't too bad either. My sister ate way more than me, I only had a very small piece of cake to show people that I'm perfectly normal. It's nothing wrong with not wanting to eat big amounds of unhealthy food, but some people seems to think so.
My friends talked about this friend of mine who might be anorectic, and they all thought it was so wierd that she only eats superhealthy food. They however, eat unhealthy food every day. Well, they still think I'm normal, I think... I hope so. It's always awkward when they talk about her eating habits, and I've had to lie to them about what I eat. They don't need to know that i eat "too little".
Love you all <3
The weekend wasn't too bad either. My sister ate way more than me, I only had a very small piece of cake to show people that I'm perfectly normal. It's nothing wrong with not wanting to eat big amounds of unhealthy food, but some people seems to think so.
My friends talked about this friend of mine who might be anorectic, and they all thought it was so wierd that she only eats superhealthy food. They however, eat unhealthy food every day. Well, they still think I'm normal, I think... I hope so. It's always awkward when they talk about her eating habits, and I've had to lie to them about what I eat. They don't need to know that i eat "too little".
Love you all <3
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
555
Yup, that's the amount of calories I've consumed today. Not too bad.
I think that a friend of mine has an ED, because I haven't seen her eating at school for a very long time (and she used to eat at school before). I know she's jogging several times a week, and that she only eat healthy food. She's pretty thin too. It was two other friends of mine who made me think of it. Well, it seems like they don't think that I've got an ED, and that's perfect! I hate it when we start to talk about eating and stuff, because I have to be so very careful to not reveal anything.
I have to go to a family birthday this weekend. Cake, ice cream, much food and snacks is always a part of those family birthdays. My goal is to eat less than my sister (she's thin!), and keep it to an absolute minimum.
Yay, I feel very motivated to lose weight right now.
I think that a friend of mine has an ED, because I haven't seen her eating at school for a very long time (and she used to eat at school before). I know she's jogging several times a week, and that she only eat healthy food. She's pretty thin too. It was two other friends of mine who made me think of it. Well, it seems like they don't think that I've got an ED, and that's perfect! I hate it when we start to talk about eating and stuff, because I have to be so very careful to not reveal anything.
I have to go to a family birthday this weekend. Cake, ice cream, much food and snacks is always a part of those family birthdays. My goal is to eat less than my sister (she's thin!), and keep it to an absolute minimum.
Yay, I feel very motivated to lose weight right now.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Back from holiday
I'm back from my holiday. It was lovely, the weather was mostly fine and I had loads of fun. I had to eat though, because I was with my family and a friend, and they would have reacted if I didn't eat. It sucks, but I will hopefully be able to loose whatever I have gained.
My knee is better, I can walk a little now (without crutches), but I'm not allowed to e.g. walk around at a shopping center for hours. I cannot walk to school either, even though it only (normally) takes me 15 minutes. Well, I'm at least getting better! And this injury is the perfect excuse for not drinking! Don't misunderstand me, I actually really like drinking and getting drunk, but it's way too many calories in alcohol, and as I have to be very careful when I walk so I cannot drink. This is a perfect excuse not to go to the parties I don't want to, too. Yay. I bought a new dress, and it's really lovely, but it's a tight fit so I it would be nice to loose some fat before I use it.
I really look like a fat cow now. I feel soo fat! I need to be skinny, I need to feel better. I don't deserve to eat. I want to be really skinny to my 18th birthday in the end of November. That's my goal right now. And after that is Christmas... I don't like Christmas. It's way too stressful, the food is fatty, there are sweets everywhere, and I have to eat dinner with my family all the time. I love that I'm always so optimistic *irony*.
Anonymous: Sorry for at jeg svarer så sent ^^; Så kult! Har du ståplass? Jeg har ikke det dessverre, men det er tross alt bedre å se dem live enn å gå glipp av det! Ja, den nye CDen eier. Du har også et problematisk forhold til mat (antar det siden du er her)? Du må gjerne sende med mail hvis du har behov for å snakke (tynnhet æt hotmail dot com), det hadde vært hyggelig med en norsk å snakke med (lag gjerne en anonym adresse ^^). :)
My knee is better, I can walk a little now (without crutches), but I'm not allowed to e.g. walk around at a shopping center for hours. I cannot walk to school either, even though it only (normally) takes me 15 minutes. Well, I'm at least getting better! And this injury is the perfect excuse for not drinking! Don't misunderstand me, I actually really like drinking and getting drunk, but it's way too many calories in alcohol, and as I have to be very careful when I walk so I cannot drink. This is a perfect excuse not to go to the parties I don't want to, too. Yay. I bought a new dress, and it's really lovely, but it's a tight fit so I it would be nice to loose some fat before I use it.
I really look like a fat cow now. I feel soo fat! I need to be skinny, I need to feel better. I don't deserve to eat. I want to be really skinny to my 18th birthday in the end of November. That's my goal right now. And after that is Christmas... I don't like Christmas. It's way too stressful, the food is fatty, there are sweets everywhere, and I have to eat dinner with my family all the time. I love that I'm always so optimistic *irony*.
Anonymous: Sorry for at jeg svarer så sent ^^; Så kult! Har du ståplass? Jeg har ikke det dessverre, men det er tross alt bedre å se dem live enn å gå glipp av det! Ja, den nye CDen eier. Du har også et problematisk forhold til mat (antar det siden du er her)? Du må gjerne sende med mail hvis du har behov for å snakke (tynnhet æt hotmail dot com), det hadde vært hyggelig med en norsk å snakke med (lag gjerne en anonym adresse ^^). :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Update
So, I haven't been posting much lately due to my injury, and I've just felt too depressed lately. I've damaged one ligament (?) that holds the knee cap in place, but it's not completely tore so it will grow togeter again (sorry, I have no idea how to describe it in English). The doctor told me I can start to use my leg a little bit now, and I will hopefully be able to walk a little before the autumn break (it's just 10 days left). I'm going to Spain, so I really hope I can walk!
I'm going to physiotherapy tomorrow, so I will probably get some more information then. Oh, and I found out that the way my knees are "designed" makes this happend easier. Hurray!
This injury is making me soo depressed. Last night I cried for like two hours before I could sleep. I'm so afraid that my knee won't be completely healed, and I know I've put on weight, I missed a consert because of it (and this was the band's last concert for at least two years), and I will maybe have to bring crutches to Spain.
Sorry, I'm whining too much.
I got Muse's new album (The Resistance) yesterday. I love it, but my favorite is still Origin of Symmetry. I'm going to see Muse in October and I'm really looking forward to it!
I know I was going to write more, but I completely forgot what it was about :P
Anas' Girl: Thanks, yeah, I tried to use that excuse as often as I could
heebeejebus!: Yeah, you're right. My first priority right now is to get better!
Olivia*Obsessed: That sounds horrible! I'm very glad I don't need a surgery, and that I'm able to take a shower myself (but it is difficult!). Thanks, I'm doing my best to get well.
Stick Thin: :O It sound painful. I would feel totally lost if that happened to me. Yeah, I'll have to wait with activities like dancing, running, walking in rugged terrain (?) until my knee is fully healed. The doctor told me to wait at lest six weeks.
morg-ana: I hope I won't :) I felt so sorry for myself the first days, so I ate a lot then, but now I try to eat little and healty.
Sottile: Wow, that must have been terrible! I wish I would get a big gap between my legs!
Le faim: Yeah :(
I'm going to physiotherapy tomorrow, so I will probably get some more information then. Oh, and I found out that the way my knees are "designed" makes this happend easier. Hurray!
This injury is making me soo depressed. Last night I cried for like two hours before I could sleep. I'm so afraid that my knee won't be completely healed, and I know I've put on weight, I missed a consert because of it (and this was the band's last concert for at least two years), and I will maybe have to bring crutches to Spain.
Sorry, I'm whining too much.
I got Muse's new album (The Resistance) yesterday. I love it, but my favorite is still Origin of Symmetry. I'm going to see Muse in October and I'm really looking forward to it!
I know I was going to write more, but I completely forgot what it was about :P
Anas' Girl: Thanks, yeah, I tried to use that excuse as often as I could
heebeejebus!: Yeah, you're right. My first priority right now is to get better!
Olivia*Obsessed: That sounds horrible! I'm very glad I don't need a surgery, and that I'm able to take a shower myself (but it is difficult!). Thanks, I'm doing my best to get well.
Stick Thin: :O It sound painful. I would feel totally lost if that happened to me. Yeah, I'll have to wait with activities like dancing, running, walking in rugged terrain (?) until my knee is fully healed. The doctor told me to wait at lest six weeks.
morg-ana: I hope I won't :) I felt so sorry for myself the first days, so I ate a lot then, but now I try to eat little and healty.
Sottile: Wow, that must have been terrible! I wish I would get a big gap between my legs!
Le faim: Yeah :(
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Knee injury
Something terrible happened thursday evening. My kneecap slipped out of its joint. I was on my way out of the bathroom, and it just happened. I've never felt so much pain in my life. I thought I were going to die, and I hoped I was going to die, because it hurt so bad. I felt that something in my knee was out of place, so I got extremely scared. My mom straightened out my leg, and them my kneecap popped back in place.
So yesterday I spend 4 hours at the emergency department. They took some x-rays, and a (very hot) doctor bended my knee and examined it, and asked me a lot of questiones. And then another (even hotter) doctor examined me some more. I have to use forearm crutches for at lest 9 days now, and I will have to train my knee with physiotherapy for weeks. And I have to use a knee orthosis to hold my kneecap in place for 6-8 weeks or something. FUCK. My mom has to make food for me (because I can't carry anything) so I have to eat. And I have to eat because I can't take painkillers on an empty stomach. I don't get any exercise either. Aw, I'm going to put on weight :( I will at least get more muscles in my arms, from using the crutches . I'm going to take a MRI on wednesday, to see if the cartilage is damaged.
I can happen to me again, and if it does, I may need surgery.
So yesterday I spend 4 hours at the emergency department. They took some x-rays, and a (very hot) doctor bended my knee and examined it, and asked me a lot of questiones. And then another (even hotter) doctor examined me some more. I have to use forearm crutches for at lest 9 days now, and I will have to train my knee with physiotherapy for weeks. And I have to use a knee orthosis to hold my kneecap in place for 6-8 weeks or something. FUCK. My mom has to make food for me (because I can't carry anything) so I have to eat. And I have to eat because I can't take painkillers on an empty stomach. I don't get any exercise either. Aw, I'm going to put on weight :( I will at least get more muscles in my arms, from using the crutches . I'm going to take a MRI on wednesday, to see if the cartilage is damaged.
I can happen to me again, and if it does, I may need surgery.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Beep test and muffin recipe
I really hate the beep test (or pacer test if you call it that), and we have it tomorrow. I get so fucking nervous before it. Many of the girls don't show up for P.E. when we have test like that, and it only makes me seem even less good, because the boys are always way better than me. I don't feel that well either, I think I've catched a cold. And I got my period yesterday, so I really don't feel like running right now. But I know I have to. We're having a strength test too, tomorrow.
You requested the recipe for the muffins, so I'll try to transelate it (from Norwegian):
6 big muffins (I got 14 small)
- 150 g bananas (very ripe bananas are sweeter, so you should use them)
- 1 egg
- 120 ml skimmed milk/fat-free milk
- 50 g wheat flour (I used whole-wheat flour)
- 150 g whole-grain flour (I used whole-grain rye flour, but I guess you can use whatever you want)
- 50 g rolled oats
- 1/2 tbsp baking powder
- 80 g frozen blueberries
* Mash the bananas. Mix in egg and milk.
* Add flour, oats and baking powder.
* Carefully stir in the blueberries
* Pour the mixture into 6 big (greased) muffin forms or use muffin paper cups
* Bake at 180 °C ( 365 °F) for about 30 minutes.
I got 14 small muffins (about 65 calories each), so I baked them for about 20 minutes. And If you want sweet muffins, you should add some sweetner, because they didn't get very sweet, (but I liked them).
Mine turned out like this:
You requested the recipe for the muffins, so I'll try to transelate it (from Norwegian):
6 big muffins (I got 14 small)
- 150 g bananas (very ripe bananas are sweeter, so you should use them)
- 1 egg
- 120 ml skimmed milk/fat-free milk
- 50 g wheat flour (I used whole-wheat flour)
- 150 g whole-grain flour (I used whole-grain rye flour, but I guess you can use whatever you want)
- 50 g rolled oats
- 1/2 tbsp baking powder
- 80 g frozen blueberries
* Mash the bananas. Mix in egg and milk.
* Add flour, oats and baking powder.
* Carefully stir in the blueberries
* Pour the mixture into 6 big (greased) muffin forms or use muffin paper cups
* Bake at 180 °C ( 365 °F) for about 30 minutes.
I got 14 small muffins (about 65 calories each), so I baked them for about 20 minutes. And If you want sweet muffins, you should add some sweetner, because they didn't get very sweet, (but I liked them).
Mine turned out like this:
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